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5 Things We Need to Stop Doing in Relationships

Here are the most clichéd bad habits we have in our relationships that we really just need to stop doing!

1. Not speaking your mind

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It is fairly safe to say that half the time we say, “I’m fine” or “I don’t care,” it’s the furthest thing from the truth. When you really think about it, “fine” has lost most of its original meaning. An extra charge at the ATM is fine. Pepsi as a substitute for Coke is fine. But saying you’re “fine” when you’re really full of conflicting emotions is not fine. Meanwhile, “I don’t care” is usually synonymous with, “I do care very much.” You sit on the couch as your boyfriend asks if he should shave his favorite sports team’s logo into his hair for the big game, and with steady eyes and a shrug, you say, “I don’t care.” But on the inside, every ounce of your body is screaming in terror, hoping he won’t actually go through with it.

“Females, as typically the nurturer, have the ability to anticipate loved one’s needs and then assume their male counterparts can do the same,” says Kim Olver, life coach and author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.  “This is rarely the case. Males need females to tell them exactly what they want. They are not very good at just figuring it out, no matter how much they like you.”

Taylor, a collegiette at the University of California, San Diego, says she tends to get quiet when she’s upset. “My boyfriend, who is very good at communicating and talking things out in person, has a tough time when I shy away from explaining what is wrong in the moment,” she says. “I tend to keep it to myself and then gush out all of my feelings via text, which is wrong.”

Your significant other is there for you, most especially to be a confidant when you’re holding in a lot of emotions. You don’t have to put on a brave face or hide that you’re in fact human and capable of being sad or confused at times. Be honest about how you feel, and it can only get better!

“I know it can be scary to put yourself out there and actually say what you want, but guys in relationships really do want their girlfriend to be happy,” Olver says. “If they can help make that happen by doing something that isn’t too inconvenient for them, they often will.”

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