We can’t hold ourselves at fault for the occasional jealous tendencies, but getting upset every time our significant other happens to be in the same room as an attractive person is a little much and can hurt your relationship.
According to Olver, “Jealousy can stem from insecurity. It can come from past experiences of having trust broken. It can stem from an erroneous belief that things will never change; that when someone says they love you, it means they will always love you. And finally, jealousy can occur because we view our partner as our possession. When this happens, we have expectations about how our [SO] will act with other girls.”
Instead of freaking out over the dumbest little things, take a step back and think about if there is an actual threat to your relationship. “This is bad for relationships, but even more important, it is bad for you,” Olver says. “Jealousy never stopped a cheater from cheating, but it can cause someone who’s not inclined to cheat to do so. The most important reason to work through your jealousy is that it transforms you into a person you don’t even recognize. Realize how valuable you actually are, and you will never need to be jealous again.”
Stop freaking out about every interaction your SO has with another woman or every occasion when your SO spends his or her time with someone other than you. It’s going to be just fine! Deep breaths, tea and a good talk will cure all.